i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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