Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
