I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
