Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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