Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you would pick up someone in the library
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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