when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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