i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize