hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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