I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
