he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
