I CAN MOONWALK!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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