my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
