who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
