please come you make the beer taste better
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
