A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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