There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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