No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
