Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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