I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I need a hoe opinion
go on
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
