I CAN MOONWALK!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
