I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
