I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
