no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
