There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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