I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
