I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
