I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
