so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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