OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize