Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
