My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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