Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
tell me about the eggs
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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