It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Are we still banned from the library?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
