the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just had sex bonerless
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
