I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
