wakey wakey hands off snakey
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize