he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
