I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
