Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
