Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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