Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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