4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
