I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
