I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
