you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
