it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i need an iv and a liver transplant
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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