I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
