Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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