Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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