Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
