That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize