How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
