dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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