Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
