you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
