Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
