You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
