you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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