please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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