So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
