oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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