The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
