Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
a search helicopter?!
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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