THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
