my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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