It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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