he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize