I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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