I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
