Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
