I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
