whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
