I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
