YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
